I am a sensitive artist

I had several thoughts today that may or may not be considered interesting.

First, thanks to those of you who sent me little private messages about how you juggle priorities. Post some of your comments so the world can learn your secrets! One I loved in particular is from a friend who said “every time I start to feel guilty about bingeing instead of working out, I just eat a cookie.” Fab and love.

So back to my interesting (?) thoughts. I take things incredibly personally. Shocker, I know. An artist who takes things personally. But I think I’m particularly bad at it and it usually arises from something that is completely out of my control. And then I get all caught up in that thing and then my work suffers then I make mistakes and beat myself up about it and my mistakes get pointed out and then I take that personally and then the epic cycle continues.

I know no one else on the planet can relate to that.

Anywho, after the time spent in the event industry with my boss who needs some serious divine intervention, I found that I am so much better at not taking things personally. Whackadoo Boss often made my performance evaluations entirely about my alcoholic parents, my anger issues, my need to be perfect without ever actually giving me constructive advice on how to improve me job. Fortunately, I have a boyfriend who doesn’t take anything personally, ever. Seriously, it’s like a big ol’ honkin’ defect. I try and insult him in an argument and his usual response is “Well, that’s your opinion.” Yeah! It is! Now be offended by it!

But what I learned from him is that if you take things personally and SHOW that you’re taking them personally, you give the person who insulted you power. By getting a rise out of you, they know that they have some control over you. Makes sense? I hope so.

So in this environment of whackadoo bosses, I needed to learn to put up a wall so I wasn’t reacting to all the crazy stuff that was said to me. And I got pretty good at it.

What’s great is that now I’m in an environment where I rarely have to use this. Though artists are some of the most passive aggressive people on the planet, we are surprisingly mellow about it.

So today, when a colleague was having a bad day, I thought, oh my god, what did I DO??? And then I realized I was taking it personally and turned my focus back to my work. Tah-dah! Not taking it personally anymore! And every time I would find myself ruminating on the unfairness of it all, shift focus and…Tah-dah! Not taking it personally anymore.

Yay! Progress! I would love to hear if anyone else has issues with taking things personally and how you deal with it (if at all).

Starting tomorrow I’m gonna starting posting some random financial stuff too since I love to share that info. I hope my few (I know I have at least 3) readers find that helpful!

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3 Responses to I am a sensitive artist

  1. Julie Poole says:

    I know exactly what you're talking about! Unfortunately for me, i'm also and emotional cry-er. Sad, mad, frustrated, tired….sometimes hungry, I cry. Which makes me look weak, and in most cases is completely unprofessional. The only benefit is that my current boss is completely flustered by the tears and endeavors to cause them as infrequently as possible. As far as a way to not things personally, the best i've been able to come up with is a version of the old break up staple "it's not me, it's them." And I keep repeating it until it feel at least a little true :)PS: So loving that you're blogging again!

  2. Verhanika says:

    Thanks for you comment Jules! Crying is so good for us. It sucks that our little corner of the earth doesn't think so. Can't wait to talk to you Saturday!

  3. Daiva says:

    Man, all my life I have been a crier, and I don't mean the town type. I finally devised a mind game that helps me get past most of the teary inclinations – it is a bit too risque to go into publicly, but I have shared it with you, Verhanika, in the past – if you don't remember, call me!

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